I started this blog too late. Better late than never.

My first blog on this topic.

"Coping with someone that has had a stroke from pancreatic cancer."

And helping others not have such a dreadful time of it.

Damn, I wish I'd diarized everything from Day 1. Why why why didn't I start writing as soon as it happened? Now it's all a big blur. 

But there is so much I want to say and get off my chest and, most of all, help other people (like you?) who are having an end of life experience like us. 

No one should go through this!!! It's hell.

Is it a blog??? Mmmm maybe. More of a rant probably. Or maybe just a way to brain dump thoughts that might help others. Maybe it's just a big blob of headtrash I need to spew or I'll go raving mad.

I didn't have a stroke. My partner did.

I don't have Pancreatic Cancer (well, not that I know of). My partner did (does... for now)

The cancer causes the strokes. Who knew!?

I am here. On this day, some 5 months in, and I am so badly smashed and bruised and wrenched and wretched. 

So, as my other half, Alison, slides further into the dark abyss of pancreatic cancer, I type to try and make sense of what it has all been.

So, I though, how do I rapidly brain dump everything that pops into my head. Forget a good looking website or a fancy platform. Just get the info into a rapid blog. So, here it is:

I will try and share our journey. I will try and do it in a cognitive, time-structured, coherant way to help you. But I can't promise to because it has been such an utter warping of time and space and reality and the very essence of who I am as a human being that I just hope it makes sense and isn't the jibberish babbling of a broken man.

Maybe this 'blog' will help you. I hope so.

If so, please tell others if you meet them on your journey - at the hospital, at the hospice. Because, for me, it's been 10x worse than I ever imagined. And I knew it was going to be bad.

So, read on... please... Leave me comments, feedback, ask questions....